Also: longest title EVER. Anyway, here it is:
To say I felt safe in his presence would be a lie. I didn’t feel safe: I felt terrified. My nerves would become a mess, jumping at his slightest movement, and my heartbeats would be like the stammers of a shy girl speaking in front of a big crowd.
Nevertheless, I was attracted to him. This attraction that kept me his prisoner ebbed and flowed. It changed between loving him and hating him; between wanting him so badly, in all the wrong ways, and wanting him gone, in all the right ways.
I know I should have distanced myself from him, completely cut myself off.
I didn’t…and it was the worst decision I’d ever made.
Cutting it was the right decision. But I kept it, just in case.