I wrote "noise" instead of "nose". *headbed because I don’t (can’t) use my desk*
Anyway, here are some of my comments to myself:
- Somehow work Breanna into story.
- Maybe she’ll look at a poster on her wall. (Foreshadow her love of Monet painting so that she can buy a new one later.)
- Doesn’t sound right.
- Add description of some flowers in a pot. (Foreshadow love of gardening and plants.)
- Add scene with Breanna
- Add something
- Add scene at home where Kenna waters plants in garden. (Foreshadow for [spoiler].)
- First sentence here doesn’t sound right.
- Must add Breanna in several scenes.
- Check if the Italian is correct.
- Definitely needs editing.
- Find reason for fight.
- Figure out what happens in the rest of the chapter. Maybe Kenna mulls things over. Maybe she talks to Breanna. Calls Liam?
After that I have one other comment but it’s got a spoiler.