It’s 1.11 p.m. as I write this and I’m quite tired. Anyway, I was reading the lyrics of Little House by The Fray, and what people thought it meant (song meanings site thing) and it made me realize that the dark scene I wrote yesterday might have some consequences. Which in turn will force Kenna to do something which in turn will have some consequences.
I have no idea how the hell she’s supposed to find her old strength now, because it feels like she’s being dragged to the depths of hell and I don’t know how she can get back to the surface.
When I realized that I got this rock-heavy sense of dread in my stomach that I’m starting to hate, but also, in a weird way, appreciate. It means, to me, that my character is very human, very real. I’ve never had a character come to life like Kenna has. I fear for her, worry about her, and I love her like a mother loves her daughter. I don’t want bad things happening to her! I thought I’d enjoy writing dark stories with bad things, but I’m hating it.
Usually, before falling asleep, I daydream, or rather, nightdream. I invent stories and that’s how I fall asleep. The only other way is for me to be very very tired. As in "I haven’t slept in 30 hours" tired. Anyway, instead of doing that, I worried about Kenna. And I found myself "apologizing" to her about what happens to her.
Any other writers experience something similar to this?